Oh no! A celebrity you like has fucked up! They have said something bigoted! What ever shall you do?!
Step one: Acknowledgement.
- Acknowledge that they are not perfect. But them being only human is not an excuse. They need to apologize sincerely for their fuckup, and not be treated as infallible gods just because you like/are attracted to them.what does this mean? It means not attacking threads where people are talking about that fuckup, or expressing their feelings about said fuckup. It means holding them accountable, and not dismissing the fucked up thing they said/did just because you like them.Step two: Accountability.
- Has your celeb apologized sincerely? Just saying “GAWD I’M SO SORRY I OFFENDED THE PC POLICE” doesn’t count as a real apology, and in fact removes said celeb’s accountability for their mistake, by placing the blame for their bigoted remark on the people it targets, instead of on themselves for making the comment in the first place.
- If your celeb HAS INDEED apologized sincerely, so what? No one is required to forgive them, and kiss the ground they walk on. If your celeb has fucked up, people (especially the people it affects) are allowed to recall the event in question, and criticize the celeb for making said comment, even if they apologized afterward.
what does this mean? It means that people recalling bigoted things said by a celebrity you like and having negative feelings about them because of it is valid. And you are not allowed to whine and complain about it just because “BUT THEY’RE SO HAWT”. Are you five? No one is preventing you from liking them, however, valid concerns or criticisms aren’t the fires of hell. Deal with it.
Step three: Do not whine.
- Stop whining because people are angry that someone you like did something fucked up. You’re not five years old, you should be able to understand that not everyone is able to blindly hero worship the celebs you like. We are all different people, and we’re not going to be able to up and forget things that added to the already numerous amount of bullshit the rest of us have to deal with. Just because your “Asian friend” wasn’t offended by a racist joke doesn’t mean that every other Asian PoC now has to forgive them by default. And if you’re citing your friend’s opinion as though it somehow validates racist behavior, you need to sit in a corner by yourself until you stop being a fuckhead.
- it is not “hating” on the celeb you love to talk about past mistakes they made.
- Lastly, no one wants to hear how disappointed YOU as a fan are that they made the mistake. Don’t enter threads talking about their bigoted/oppressive behavior to whine about how it affects you (especially if it doesn’t.)what does this mean? It means making posts whining about how hurt you are that people are “hating” on So-and-so is inappropriate, because legitimate criticisms of bigoted behavior are not hate. And if you’re seeing it that way, then perhaps a step back is in order, because your personal feelings don’t make it okay for you to attempt to silence valid complaints about a famous person.
Step four: It’s not about you.
- After the fuckup, it is not appropriate to bring up other good things this celeb has done as a counter argument as to ‘why this isn’t so bad’. If you are not in the group affected by the fuckup, it is not up to you to determine how bad it actually was. Just because So-and-so saves puppies in their spare time doesn’t make their racist comment any less fucked up. Clearly the puppies didn’t stop them from saying it, so how is their existence relevant to the conversation?
- Someone disliking a celeb you like is not a personal affront. It’s not your job to insult them because “oh come on that was so long ago”, especially if no apology was made, or if further fuckups ensued.It’s not about you. It’s not about you. It’s not about you. It’s not about you. It’s not about you. It’s not about you. It’s not about you. It’s not about you. It’s not about you. It’s not about you. It’s not about you.And if your response to their fuckup is to talk about how it’s “sew mean and reverse raysist that people are even bringing it up like this”, have your mother tuck you in, because it is far past your bedtime, fetus.
I forgot the fifth step:
Step five: yes, saying something bigoted makes you a bigot.
- If your celeb has said something racist: yes, they are racist. If they say something cissexist or transmisogynist: yes, they are cissexist. You liking them does not change reality. And the reality is: clearly they espouse problematic ideals, and no amount of hero worship will change that. And if people call them on their behavior, your response should not be “BUT THAT DOESN’T MAKE THEM A BIGOT”. Yes it does. It absolutely does.